Driving me Crazy

Recently, on my long drives to and from work, I have been pondering important philosophical ideas. My last drive produced a top ten list of the all time work karaoke songs. As my life continues to be open to you through this blog, I will share these musical gems with you now.

Top Ten Worst Karaoke Songs

10. "We are the World" by various artist. Could you imagine a drunk 40 something trying to imitate all those artists' voices?

9. Anything by Rob Zombie. His songs aren't what I would call "lyrical."

8. "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston. The problem with this song is twofold. First, the song sucks, and no one wants to hear a sappy love song in a pub full of drunken half-naked college students. Secondly, in order to do justice to any Whitney Houston song, one MUST carry with them a white napkin with which to wipe excess sweat from your brow during the performance. This is a MAJOR hindrance during karaoke performances.

7. "Take this Job and Shove It" by Johnny Paycheck. I have heard this song on several occasions at a bar I use to frequent. My personal favorite rendition is the bearded man who sang his version, "Take this job and shove it up your f##kIng a##." It was oddly amusing. However, I needed two Jaegermeister shots afterwards.

6. "It's the End of the World as We Know It" by REM. Why would anyone even try?

5. "The Thong Song" by Cisco. Yes, I've heard it. I never want to speak of it again.

4. "Who Let the Dogs Out" by The Baha Men. Do I even need to say anything?

3. "Hotel California" by The Eagles. Let's leave this one to William Hung.

2. "I Would Do Anything for Love" by Meatloaf. Although his performance in the Rocky Horror Picture Show was oscar-worthy, his songs don't appeal to the typical bar crowd.

and the number one all time worst karaoke song (in my opinion is)....

"I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls. I am not opposed to talking about masturbation. After all, who doesn't practice the love that dare not speak its name? But, do we really need to sing about it?

Needless to say, I should probably pay more attention to the road while driving....