Upon recent investigation, someone (who shall remain nameless) has infiltrated the T.C. empire and discovered my true identity. As an author who writes under a surname, this leaves me no other choice than to say marginally inappropriate things about this person in hopes that she will not reveal my true identity. So, here I go…
Here are some things I know about this individual who knows T.C.’s true identity.
1. She was an avid serving specialist for a college volleyball team. (Although in her defense, she was far better than her coach knew).
2. She visited Key West, Florida with me. We went on a booze cruise at sunset…very romantic. Also, we were forced to hear about how a saleswomen for the local condo/vacation rental had a husband who could not achieve an erection. It was memorable to say the least.
3. She is from a small town in the midwest…where, for some unknown reason, they decide to call upon their Swiss heritage each summer and hold a festival. They mostly just churn butter during this festival, as I have been so informed.
4. She can only have one drink before she is completely intoxicated, and don’t let her tell you otherwise…
5. She has a friend who is a porn star.
I say this…you know who you are. I have far more gossip on you than I have chosen to publish. I ask you now, for all that is good and scared in the world, to not reveal my true identity. For, as many will attest, it will completely destroy the literary community. I now put myself in your hands….asking humbly that my secret remain…and asking if we may soon make out.
Your forever love slave,
T.C.
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