Desperate times call for desperate measures...
I have recently joined the ranks of the under-employed, and am now looking to free myself from the corn-bondage of the Midwest. The time has come for me to fly far from here. I need a change.
This is not to say that I don’t love my family and friends who live in this area. I certainly do. But there is little else for me here (although we did just get a Sonic, and the very notion that I am mentioning that as a highlight within this vast culinary wasteland only serves to lend further support to my need to leave). As someone who has traveled extensively for work in the past, and lived in such cities as New Orleans, Houston, Atlanta, Las Vegas, and Orlando, I need new air to breathe.
TC is starting a new fundraising campaign. The campaign is called, “Footloose and Farm-Free!” I will move to either coast or any European country. I am accepting financial donations and/or any job leads. Rumor has it that Justin Timberlake may be hosting a benefit dinner to help raise funds. I am also offering my services as a male stripper or adult film star if anyone is interested. I will also give handjobs for cash on a limited basis...
No comments:
Post a Comment