Sunday, November 18, 2007

You've been salamiriding, haven't you?

While you were off wishing that life were beautiful… I have been hard at work. Here are some things that I have been up to:

Fielding (seemingly) endless offers from the Australian Olympic Swimming Commission to be a part of the Australian Olympic Development Swimming Program.

Writing a script for my new hit movie, Blackzilla.

Doing everything (brutally).

Interviewing schizophrenics.

Clinging to the notion that life will get better.

Being mesmerized by Liz Taylor’s guitar-playing skills.

Dealing with my apparent lack of superpowers, specifically “Keith Urban Fan Locator” and “Automobile Super Navigation Skills.”

Yelling, “That’s a big one!” randomly.

Thanking the US Postal Service for the holiday packages they deliver.

Admiring flannel-on-flannel fashion.

Hiking through horny sheep territory.

Greatly enjoying Violent Femmes covers.

Carrying the NutBuster 5000.

Enduring (Injured) Giant Angry Wasp Drama.

Celebrating my torso.

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