While you were off wishing that life were beautiful… I have been hard at work. Here are some things that I have been up to:
Fielding (seemingly) endless offers from the Australian Olympic Swimming Commission to be a part of the Australian Olympic Development Swimming Program.
Writing a script for my new hit movie, Blackzilla.
Doing everything (brutally).
Interviewing schizophrenics.
Clinging to the notion that life will get better.
Being mesmerized by Liz Taylor’s guitar-playing skills.
Dealing with my apparent lack of superpowers, specifically “Keith Urban Fan Locator” and “Automobile Super Navigation Skills.”
Yelling, “That’s a big one!” randomly.
Thanking the US Postal Service for the holiday packages they deliver.
Admiring flannel-on-flannel fashion.
Hiking through horny sheep territory.
Greatly enjoying Violent Femmes covers.
Carrying the NutBuster 5000.
Enduring (Injured) Giant Angry Wasp Drama.
Celebrating my torso.
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