I apologize for my absence. I know it has been some time since my last post. I have been crazy busy. Here is a list of things that I’ve been doing since I last posted:
1. Telling an emaciated barfly she needed a biscuit.
2. Getting job offers from metro-sexual strangers after watching my sales performance from afar.
3. Waving.
4. Watching a midnight colonoscopy.
5. Yelling, “Bring forth the bearded clam!” to homeless women. Or were they pirates?
6. Contacting my old shrinks, only to discover they never thought I was funny. (Bastards)
7. Watching a parade of tractors.
8. Creating a new candle scent... Freshly Laundered Semen Stains.
9. Avoiding having to use CPR again. (Come on, how many times do I really NEED to do that.)
10. Dreaming of riding the Latino Express.
11. Promoting iWork-Curiousity.
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1 comment:
3. Waving.
My bad. I thought you were drowning.
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