Outside Yourself

T.C. Heads West...

2009-09-14T04:14:00.003-04:00

Hello Seattle....
More updates to follow soon...

Kid Rock...His Music Moves Me.

2008-10-06T01:30:00.002-04:00

In fact, whenever I hear a Kid Rock song, my body instantly responds with a strong need to defecate. In scientific terms…it’s a simple physiological response to an auditory abomination.

Beach 11am

2008-10-06T01:26:00.000-04:00

Eyes of deep-set sadness,
the pale girl
walks foot in front of foot,
along the curved wave boundary.
One side chocolate with moisture,
the other arid, lightly bronzed.
Her arms extend limply,
providing steadiness to her steps.
Her indigo sundress pulls me to the water,
but undersized whitecaps
push her towards me.
In-between,
she continues undaunted.

Udderly Fascinating

2008-09-12T05:15:00.007-04:00

Due to a recent lull in the job market, I have decided to expand my job search to include positions that I may not have previously considered. One of the most memorable, as of late, was a position as a breast-feeding coach at a local women’s center. Here are some of the job responsibilities outlined in their classified advertisement, along with my interpretation of what they meant to say.

*Minimum of a high school diploma or GED completed; those with associates degree or greater encouraged to apply – You don’t need to be too smart, just know your blouse puppies.

*Must be dependable and well organized – Must possess working knowledge of how to align sweater hams into neatly arranged rows.

*Must be able to perform home visits within the service area – Your rack need not come to us, we will come to you.

*Good interpersonal skills necessary to effectively interact with patients, families, health care providers and other staff. –Your milkshake should bring all the boys to the yard.

*Experience in maternal child health care, counseling, family planning/reproductive health care or counseling and/or community health. -Virgins need not apply.

*Enthusiasm, optimism and commitment to improving breastfeeding rates. -As our economy has declined, so have breast-feeding rates. We must increase the number of functioning milk bombs and the uses thereof.

*Knowledge of target population, service area and/or underserved populations.- We target mainly DD’s. In addition, our underserved population (men) are the focus of a recent marketing campaign, who at this juncture have still yielded no results.

*Foster relationship with patients through communication and rapport building to build a basis for ongoing support.- Give the old nipples a tweak every once in a while to let your milk-makers know that you still care.

*Promote/education and support breastfeeding using a variety of techniques (written, verbal, demonstration, etc) and variety of types of contacts (clinic, home, phone).- The ideal candidate must vow to write on knockers, scream at chesticles, or manually manipulate melons in order for proper BF training to occur. If needed, he/she will participate in hot breast phone sex.

Finger-crossed, I am awaiting a call-back.

I Bet This Doesn't Happen to Oprah...

2008-09-02T14:41:00.012-04:00

Let me first begin by saying that I have several close friends who are civil servants. I think very highly of them, both personally and professionally. I consider them to be men and women of strong morals and great integrity.

That being said, will the Midwest State Police Department stop pulling me over for no reason? Seriously, it is getting annoying. 3 times and including once in my own driveway? Seriously... I guess it's because I'm a strong black woman.

He's no Corey Feldman, but I Still Tried to Hump Him.

2008-08-18T00:27:00.005-04:00

Even though I have not yet revealed my name (and oh, the emails asking for my true identity seem endless), I have decided to give my reader(s?) a quick glimpse of what I look like.

So, here is photo of me. (And a fat, bald man in a blue shirt holding me after I just tried to hump the shit out of his leg.)

Just a Warning

2008-08-15T17:11:00.002-04:00

Beware of the Nannysaurus Rex. She will cut you. I'm serious.

Fuck the Whales. Save Me!

2008-08-13T12:58:00.002-04:00

Desperate times call for desperate measures...

I have recently joined the ranks of the under-employed, and am now looking to free myself from the corn-bondage of the Midwest. The time has come for me to fly far from here. I need a change.

This is not to say that I don’t love my family and friends who live in this area. I certainly do. But there is little else for me here (although we did just get a Sonic, and the very notion that I am mentioning that as a highlight within this vast culinary wasteland only serves to lend further support to my need to leave). As someone who has traveled extensively for work in the past, and lived in such cities as New Orleans, Houston, Atlanta, Las Vegas, and Orlando, I need new air to breathe.

TC is starting a new fundraising campaign. The campaign is called, “Footloose and Farm-Free!” I will move to either coast or any European country. I am accepting financial donations and/or any job leads. Rumor has it that Justin Timberlake may be hosting a benefit dinner to help raise funds. I am also offering my services as a male stripper or adult film star if anyone is interested. I will also give handjobs for cash on a limited basis...

Seriousness

2008-08-12T02:16:00.006-04:00

I have been in a serious, self-reflective mood lately. No better evidence lies below- with my feeble attempt at poetry. I often struggle with whether or not to post my writings. Some are deeply personal, some emotional, most quite terrible, but after much deliberation, I will post several of them. I will win no Pulitzer. I write what I feel-simple and raw. I know no other way.

Momentum

2008-08-12T02:03:00.002-04:00

Waxing moon,
Tinted slightly golden,
covering endless mire,
withdrawing into shadow.
In a dream,
gathering energy
for my next step,
I inhale.
Exhale.
Doubt will
Leave my mind
for the sanctity
of moonlight.
Open eyes,
the swamplands
smell organic,
raw with wet earth.
My fist unclenches,
releasing the stone
to reunite with water.
In a predictable way,
a circle, a ripple,
toward my leg.
Bringing momentum.

Special Announcement

2008-08-12T01:56:00.001-04:00

Someone actually reads my blog. Who knew?

It has inspired me to write more. Look for more frequent posts in the days and weeks ahead.

Update for Spring

2008-04-22T01:11:00.002-04:00

It’s springtime. And besides cleaning, here’s what I have been up to:

Planning Homeless Prom 2008.

Reading Harry Potter books with a new level of understanding.

Donating to the 1st Annual Beef-a-thon.

Checking out books from the Thyroid Library.

Making plans.

Redefining fame.

Fiercely competing for a comedy award.

Moving to Randomtown, USA.

Threadspinning.

Understanding (again) where I fit in.

Eating Jesus steak.

Greatly anticipating the arrival of the Trash Fairy.

Understanding the built-in irony of fundraising.

Being Wicked.

If you can't beat it...Muppet!

2008-02-15T01:55:00.004-05:00

I miss The Muppet Show. I have such fond memories of Kermit, Miss Piggy, Beaker, Gonzo, the Swedish Chef, and Scooter, just to name a few. As a young man full of hormone imbalances, I recall identifying with different characters during my various moods (my emotional intelligence as a child was off the fucking charts). When I was lucid, I was Kermit-logical and coherent. When losing self-control, I was Animal, banging on everything in sight. When struggling with my apparent lack of talent (what 7 year old doesn’t) and felt like hard work was the only solution, I was Fozzy Bear.

Over the years, I've revisited my fascination with my hand-operated friends on many occasions. I wonder how Muppets could fit into society in 2008. I have come to realize that in order to make the characters reflect the real world struggles of modern day citizens, the Muppets must change with the times. Sure, stagehands are important, as are scientists and drummers. However, we need Muppets for a new Millennium.

Here is my current list of Muppets we need, and the roles I see them playing:

Wilma Muffstank: Muppet Porn Star (although Miss Piggy was clearly headed in that direction)
Milfy Rachel: Cooking/Talk Show Host Muppet
Billy Goatie-Gates: Internet Junkie Muppet
Oliver O: Muppet Army Sergeant
Lil Barry Boo-Hoo: Steroid Abusing Muppet
Mary-Kate No Biscuit Ate: Eating Disorder Muppet
Jamie-Terry Pat: Hermaphroditic Star of Muppet Idol

I also desperately need a substance abusing Muppet…a sort of Alcoholic Muppet. Yes, that’s it exactly. I will think of a good name for an Alcoholic Muppet and post it at a later time.

Sometimes I guess I have too much time on my hands…

Mad World

2008-02-15T01:41:00.001-05:00

Mad World
Gary Jules (cover of Tears for Fears)

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Mad World
Enlarging your world
Mad World.

Recent Headline: Manager says Britney Spears has 'Mental Issues'

2008-01-29T01:49:00.000-05:00

Really? Does she?

Migraines

2008-01-21T22:05:00.000-05:00

Migraines are not fun. Just in case anyone was wondering.

New Years Resolution: 2008 FE

2008-01-09T00:55:00.000-05:00

After years of apparent denial, I have recently identified myself as a believer in karma (Oh yes, I’m a karma chameleon). In my life, however, I have come to realize something very important…

Good things don’t necessarily come to people who do good things.

For most, if not all, of my adult life, I was under the false impression that if I did good things, if I worked for good causes, then, for some unknown reason, good things would happen to me as a result. I can now safely say that this is NOT, in reality, the case. For example: I currently work one full-time job, hold a part time coaching job for a youth volleyball program, as well as a part-time job at a local restaurant. I am currently in negotiations to add a third part-time job to my already full plate. Also, I am grant writer and do volunteer activities for a local non-profit organization. I am a nationally certified trainer and disaster volunteer for the American Red Cross. My past occupations have included: director of a shelter for abused, abandoned and neglected children, victim advocate for a child welfare service agency, director of a helpline for addicts, community liaison for families in need of public assistance, and 4 years served as a crisis interventionist. All in all, I have always tried, and always will try, to do what is good for humanity. (By the way, I am NOT implying that I am Mother Teresa here.)

But where has all of this apparent goodwill toward humanity gotten me? Well, I am completely exhausted, broke, tired, lonely and have $70,000 in student loan debt (and still have the uncanny ability to live paycheck to paycheck without the benefit of a checking or savings account). I currently have 14 dollars in my wallet. This past year, I helplessly watched one of my best friends die. My life is completely contraned by financial limitations.

This leads me to two conclusions…

First, fuck karma.

And secondly, it leads me to my 2008 New Year’s Resolution…"Fuck Everyone in 2008".

Happy New Year to you and your loved ones. Go out and do something nice for humanity?

Ice

2008-01-06T02:17:00.000-05:00

Holiday Cheer

2007-12-17T00:02:00.000-05:00

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. (Other than the mating season for antelope.) Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones!

Now go get something (unsightly) and make it beautiful.

CCC

2007-12-16T01:44:00.000-05:00

I have recently completed a 16-day immersion in cow culture. Upon further investigation, I have determined that cow culture is complicated. Not only do cows have a highly evolved social class system, but they actually practice shunning. A cow that commits adultery becomes known by the title, “Whore-Cow,” and is outcast from cow community. The “Whore-Cow” is also forced to bear a "W" on her chest.

Here are some other little known facts about cow culture:

1. Cow Porn, known to many as “moo-moo hardcore,” is the highest grossing industry in cow culture.
2. The most popular t-shirt among Goth cow teens, “Utterly Devastated.”
3. The most popular movie for cow pre-teens, “Cow School the Moosical.”
4. The term, “Half and half,” means something completely different to a cow prostitute.
5. Many, many cows long to run in the Kentucky Derby.
6. There are only 17 known copies of the Cow Bible.
7. Cow Pope (also known as Holy Cow) holds mass twice a week.
8. They generally find cow-tipping amusing and only chase tippers to get an autograph.
9. “Poo Poo Platter” means something different to Cow chef.
10. Gargamel is their archenemy.

Next up for me, my total immersion into toad culture. More on that in the weeks ahead.

Santa Makes Lists, So Why Can't I?

2007-11-29T00:15:00.000-05:00

I, like some of my blog-mates (and Santa too), enjoy lists. In bus(t)y times like these, lists make it easier to convey the happenings in my life to my (lack of)faithful readers.

Here is another list of my recent life activities:

Slipping into a deeper depression knowing that the upcoming Duran Duran concert in a nearby major city has sold out.
Slipping into a deeper depression.

Appreciating Keith Urban.
Devaluing Keith Richards.
Deciphering Little Richard.
Defying Richard Simmons.

Buying wastebaskets for future storage needs.
Buying wastebasket lids for future storage needs.

Wondering why I ever sang in weddings.
Wondering why I ever sang.
Wondering why I went to weddings.
Wondering why.

Running errands.
Running.

Preparing for my “Strap-On New Year’s Eve Party.”
Being strapped.

Losing myself in the Settlers of Satan board game.
Losing to settlers.
Losing myself (to Satan, and his music?)
Losing.

Adding to my current list of allergies.
Adding to my current lists.

Frantically planning my Christmas card photo shoot.
Frantically planning.
Frantically shooting photos.

Wishing I was somehow here.
Wishing I was somehow here again.

Discussing the difference between a “three-some” and a “three-way.”
Discussing the difference between a "parkway" and a "freeway."

Enjoying the hustle and bustle of the blackest Friday in recent memory.
Enjoying hustlers and busts.

Encouraging my testicle to descend.
Encouraging my testicle.

Discovering happy, smiling faces.
Discovering happy, smiling faces in unexpected locations.

You've been salamiriding, haven't you?

2007-11-18T00:34:00.000-05:00

While you were off wishing that life were beautiful… I have been hard at work. Here are some things that I have been up to:

Fielding (seemingly) endless offers from the Australian Olympic Swimming Commission to be a part of the Australian Olympic Development Swimming Program.

Writing a script for my new hit movie, Blackzilla.

Doing everything (brutally).

Interviewing schizophrenics.

Clinging to the notion that life will get better.

Being mesmerized by Liz Taylor’s guitar-playing skills.

Dealing with my apparent lack of superpowers, specifically “Keith Urban Fan Locator” and “Automobile Super Navigation Skills.”

Yelling, “That’s a big one!” randomly.

Thanking the US Postal Service for the holiday packages they deliver.

Admiring flannel-on-flannel fashion.

Hiking through horny sheep territory.

Greatly enjoying Violent Femmes covers.

Carrying the NutBuster 5000.

Enduring (Injured) Giant Angry Wasp Drama.

Celebrating my torso.

Finally!

2007-11-16T01:06:00.000-05:00

Thank God I FINALLY found a picture of Keith Urban....

Keith Urban or Melissa Etheridge?

2007-11-16T00:58:00.000-05:00

I love lesbian turtle pants.

Part Two

2007-11-16T00:49:00.001-05:00

Ahh, see the game gets more difficult. Keith Urban or Indigo Girl?

(However, this STILL is an Indigo Girl. I don't like giving away answers but this is a difficult game...)

A Keith Urban concert is an inappropriate time for a gangbang survey!

2007-11-16T00:37:00.000-05:00

However, it is a VERY appropriate time to play a new fun game called….

Keith Urban or Indigo Girl?

(In this case, Amy Ray is clearly showing off her 5 o'clock shadow!)

In case anyone was curious…

2007-11-08T00:02:00.000-05:00

I have named my autobiography. It will be called….

“Meat Flaps and Monogamy.”

Look for it on bookshelves soon. Well, after I actually write it, of course.

On the road again...

2007-10-22T09:00:00.000-04:00

I have recently driven from my home in the Midwest to Florida for a visit. I have traveled across the country several times, but this trip has been particularly interesting. Here are some of my observations and lessons learned from my trip thus far:

1. Tornado warnings are (generally) legitimate. If you hear a tornado warning on the radio, there is a chance that one is coming…right at you.
2. The entire state of Tennessee smells like beef jerky.
3. Turning your lights out while driving 70 mph down the highway isn’t always a bad thing.
4. Exit 119 off I-75 in Georgia is an exit for Vienna Pitts. I think this is a great name for a freeway exit, and an even better name for a female porn star.
5. Female truckers are a particularly attractive people group.
6. Drive thru’s in the south tightly pack ice into your cup, as to only allow room for 1 oz of beverage.
7. German women do not wear deodorant.
8. Country music is big in the south…weird huh?
9. Nitrogen-filled tires rock my world!
10. Unlike Tennessee, northern Georgia smells like tuna. Oh, and so do German women.

I am sure I will have much more to share about my trip soon.

Don't Miss It!

2007-10-11T00:24:00.000-04:00

Come one, Come all!!

To the training carnival!
See the fire-pie-breathing man!
See the bearded clam lady!
Clowns, rides, and hot carnies,

There wil be prizes, fun and...

chicken pot pies!

Since I've Been Gone...

2007-10-03T23:24:00.000-04:00

I apologize for my absence. I know it has been some time since my last post. I have been crazy busy. Here is a list of things that I’ve been doing since I last posted:

1. Telling an emaciated barfly she needed a biscuit.
2. Getting job offers from metro-sexual strangers after watching my sales performance from afar.
3. Waving.
4. Watching a midnight colonoscopy.
5. Yelling, “Bring forth the bearded clam!” to homeless women. Or were they pirates?
6. Contacting my old shrinks, only to discover they never thought I was funny. (Bastards)
7. Watching a parade of tractors.
8. Creating a new candle scent... Freshly Laundered Semen Stains.
9. Avoiding having to use CPR again. (Come on, how many times do I really NEED to do that.)
10. Dreaming of riding the Latino Express.
11. Promoting iWork-Curiousity.

DO NOT shake them to get your money back!

2007-09-14T00:20:00.000-04:00

According to national research, 13 people are killed each year by a vending machine falling on them.

Dictionary (Re)Addition

2007-09-06T01:28:00.000-04:00

Repenised (Ree-PEE-nissed): v. 1. to have one’s penis surgically reattached after having it severed from his body. (ex. Dr. Williams repenised John Bobbitt and is now a national hero.) 2. to have one’s penis surgically reattached after having a sexual reassignment surgery to reverse it affects. (ex. Jamie Lynn was repenised and is once again enjoying his life as a man.) syn. Repetered, recocked, rechoded, redingleberried, retooled, redicked.

It Takes a Villain, People...

2007-08-22T23:17:00.000-04:00

Most of you have (hopefully) seen my humorous side. I try, more than anything (and often times far too hard) to convey my sense of humor through writing. However, recent allegations have troubled me. One of my newest friends, Maggie Tulliver (who shall henceforth be called T-Mag) has made a most heinous allegation against t.c….mainly, that I, am villainous. (Yes, I said villainous).

I am puzzled by this claim. Here is a list of t.c.’s accomplishments that would be considered far from villainous:

1. 5 years of service to the homeless population.
2. 739 hours logged as a literacy coach.
3. 3 performances at benefit concerts to raise awareness for children with developmental disabilities.
4. 26 hot dogs eaten at in an “Eat-a-thon” to raise funds for Himalayan whistle kids.
5. 2 purging sessions following that very contest.
6. 525,600 minutes to measure a year
7. $18.12 raised for my roommate in college because all he wanted for his birthday was a Dairy Queen Ice Cream Cake.
8. 1 singular sensation, every little step she takes.
9. Ladies Dancing
10. Lords-a-leaping

Are these the actions of a villain? In light of these accomplishments, I ask you the reader to refute the atrocious comments made by T-Mag, and uphold the integrity of t.c.

Oh, and in the next post I will tell of my weekend excursion to the local zoo...where I, along with a friend who shall remain nameless, found many good uses for animals on the endangered species list. All of which were beneficial to me.

(PETA don't file a lawsuit. It was a joke. I love animals...especially exotic birds...they make great bookends...well once they're stuffed...and weighted down properly.)

The Blog of Eternal Stench

2007-08-19T02:38:00.000-04:00

Clearly I have bowel issues. For anyone who has spent any significant length of time with me has undoubtedly smelled my odiferous nominations. And for that I truly am sorry.

Except when the smell is so wretched that you dry heave in the wastebasket. Then I think it’s actually kind of neat.

On Emotional Maturity

2007-08-18T02:18:00.000-04:00

I may (finally) be growing up. Here are some obvious signs of my maturity. First, I have hair on my genitalia. Also, I have hair on my back. I have no hair on my head. And, more importantly, my hopeless romantic t.c has given way to a more out-spoken, slightly less dignified, simple but mature t.c.

Where once I would say, “You, my love, are alluring. For in your embrace I find peace, pure and unblemished by life’s tragedies. Let our passions merge!”

Now has become…

“Shut up and let’s pork!”

Nick's Sick Wick Licks Dictation

2007-08-15T00:30:00.000-04:00

Wicker Man starring Nicholas Cage is clearly the worst movie I have even seen.

I Cannot Make You Food, But I Can See You're Excited!

2007-08-12T02:03:00.000-04:00

You know the signs on restaurant doors..."No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service!" If someone walks into that restaurant with a shirt and shoes on, but no pants, would the restaurant still have to serve them?

7 Things You May Not Have Known About Me...

2007-08-12T01:54:00.000-04:00

1. I have spit on a famous Picasso painting.
2. I was once the leading goal scorer in the nation for all levels of men’s collegiate soccer.
3. Socialized and had drinks with the Gin Blossoms? Been there done that.
4. I am absolutely petrified to play poker in a casino.
5. My surgical past has included 1 knee reconstruction, 1 bone plug, and 2 spinal surgeries.
6. Currently, I drive my dead grandmother’s 1993 Buick Century. It is sexy.
7. Two of my favorite movies of all time are Labyrinth and Pan’s Labyrinth.

The Prince of Tides was Neither about Princes or Tides...Discuss!

2007-08-11T08:25:00.000-04:00

Here are some conversations that I recently overheard while sitting at a local bar drinking a Coors Light:

“Oh, my titties is sweaty!”

“It was one of those moment where you stop and thank God for air fresheners.”

“I want to get in a bar fight with you. You’re big.”

“I was in total shock. I though it was a women for sure.”

“My mom had this the other night. But, she couldn’t finish it because it was so strong.”

“A reptile dysfunction? Ooh, that’s good.”

“No thanks…I’m trying to stop shaving my arm pits.”

Love Song

2007-08-11T01:48:00.000-04:00

Here is an ancient literary gem. It's one of my happy, feel-good pieces from 2005.

"Not naked but exposed,
I am curled tightly,
On my side,
Hiding from everyone.
Hands locked tightly
Around my bent knees.

Stay the fuck away.

(Guttural crying)

Anger clamps my jaw,
My abdomen tightens,
And shoulders rise.

My eyes could not see,
But my heart now feels.
Duh…..Duh…..Duh..Duh..Duh, Duh pure rage."

From the Writing Vault

2007-08-11T01:11:00.000-04:00

I recently went through some old writing notebooks and computer files. I am going to post some of my old scribblings, poetry and stories just for fun. I will post more over the next few weeks. Here is one to get you started.

Found on a notepad from 2004...I wrote this after a difficult day at work...

"Here I sit waiting. In a sense, I guess it’s not all that bad. Being able to work at my laptop on a story while collecting a paycheck from my other employer. How many writers can say that? But, in a way, it’s agonizing. Not in the “I’m waiting for my tests results” way, but in the sense that I may get called at any minute to go restrain a youth who has bitten two staff and thrown her desk chair through her window (I'm very tired of being bitten). Then, as the ritual commences, I will need to assess her for lethality. I am he who will determine if she will kill herself tonight. Is she living in reality for I am not. I let go months ago.

I rub my eyes and begin my assessment. I ask questions slowly, with purpose. Distinct pronunciation, exact wording. She answers but her hand shakes. My eyes are drawn to her inconsistencies. She laughs but looks away to hide a tear.

She speaks with word, but convinces with affect.

After assessment, I can begin the 45-minute drive back home, all the while asking myself if I missed some sign, or misinterpreted a statement, or missed some non-verbal that should have triggered a red flag. I breathe deeply. My upper lip quivers. Several tears fall from my left eye. My right eye is too tired to put forth the effort. I’ve done four assessments already this week and it's only Tuesday. She may be dead tomorrow. I am he. Fuck. Is it 3:45am yet?"

Whatcha Gonna Do With All That Junk?

2007-08-11T00:53:00.000-04:00

It is that time of year when I begin the daunting task of naming my fantasy football team. Over the years, I have come up with some very good team names, and some that completely sucked. My goal each year is to have an original, funny, obscure name. Here is my current list of possible teams names:

1. Leaking Tranny Fluid
2. Jessica Alba has Nipples
3. Hairpy
4. Lohan’s Driving School
5. Scary 63 inch Brian
6. Never Withhold Herpes from a Loved One
7. There or Someone Smaller
8. Hash Brown Highway Patrol
9. XXX Cheese
10. King of the Super Tuscans
11. Crabs Against Humanity
12. Blindly Covered in Bees

And this year’s winner is…..Shrunken Junk Bonds!

Give me some sugar baby...please?

2007-08-02T02:17:00.000-04:00

OK, you might find this entertaining. I wrote this poem to a women when I was in college. It was my failed romantic attempt to "woo" her. So many thoughts come to mind, but I guess you can form your own opinons...

You are the picture of beauty.
Your lips, enticing red, beckon to mine.
I long for your quivering flesh to envelop every aspect of me.
Let go of your unbridled passion, and give in to the unmistakable humbleness of virgin love.
Love me, as I you, and we will build a lasting life..together…forever and always.
I will make your fantasies realities...
T.C.

Literary Commentary:

First of all, I was a terrible writer....maybe I still am?

I think I used the synonym button on Microsoft Word way too much..."quivering flesh...envelop...unbridled," I mean seriously...

"The unmistakable humbleness of virgin love..." actually, I like that a little.

"I will make your fantasies realities..."...Can you say cheesy?

Well, I do give myself some credit for trying. I attempted as best I could to convey my romantic feelings to this women. It was loosely wrapped in sarcasm (only to protect my overinflated ego) and expressed through terrible word choice, phrasing, prose, etc. However, with all the testosterone running through my body, it's no wonder that I couldn't put together a coherent thought.

Can I still use that excuse now?

Top Secret Update: Shhhhh....I plan to rewrite this letter and send it to her again. Hopefully this time it will produce a different outcome. I am hoping for at minimum some under the shirt action. I'll let you know how it goes...

Toward Healthy Living

2007-08-02T02:05:00.000-04:00

I am not usually one for social commentary, but what in the hell is up with the healthcare system in America today?

Having worked in the welfare system for several years, I know that many lower class citizens are able to get Medicaid. (Especially women…I don’t mean that as a gender-biased statement, it’s actually statistical fact.) In fact, on two occasions, while working with low-income families, I had mothers tell me they were going to have more babies solely for the purpose of getting more Medicaid. Does that seem a little backwards?

Also, most of the upper class have job in which insurance is provided by their employers. Either that or they can just afford to purchase insurance on their own.

But, if you’re a middle class citizen…you’re basically fucked. More and more employers today are opting out of providing healthcare coverage for their employees, due to the costs involved. Research shows that this is mostly affecting middle class families. In addition, if an uninsured individual is lucky enough to land a job where they do provide coverage, the insurance company will do all it can to prove that any illness was caused prior to the coverage inception date. Thus, they don't need to pay out money due to the pre-existing condition clause.

This is fun right…..?

Spies Like Us

2007-07-30T00:45:00.000-04:00

Upon recent investigation, someone (who shall remain nameless) has infiltrated the T.C. empire and discovered my true identity. As an author who writes under a surname, this leaves me no other choice than to say marginally inappropriate things about this person in hopes that she will not reveal my true identity. So, here I go…

Here are some things I know about this individual who knows T.C.’s true identity.

1. She was an avid serving specialist for a college volleyball team. (Although in her defense, she was far better than her coach knew).
2. She visited Key West, Florida with me. We went on a booze cruise at sunset…very romantic. Also, we were forced to hear about how a saleswomen for the local condo/vacation rental had a husband who could not achieve an erection. It was memorable to say the least.
3. She is from a small town in the midwest…where, for some unknown reason, they decide to call upon their Swiss heritage each summer and hold a festival. They mostly just churn butter during this festival, as I have been so informed.
4. She can only have one drink before she is completely intoxicated, and don’t let her tell you otherwise…
5. She has a friend who is a porn star.

I say this…you know who you are. I have far more gossip on you than I have chosen to publish. I ask you now, for all that is good and scared in the world, to not reveal my true identity. For, as many will attest, it will completely destroy the literary community. I now put myself in your hands….asking humbly that my secret remain…and asking if we may soon make out.

Your forever love slave,
T.C.

Social vs. Class Clown

2007-07-14T02:40:00.000-04:00

Today I went and applied for a new driver's license. That whole process is so frustrating. Not to mention that I can't believe how rude some DMV employees can be....

But, anyways...

Did you know that the local DMV will NOT accept my social security card or my college photo i.d. card as a valid form of i.d.?
They will, however, accept my high school yearbook as valid identification. Does that seem strange to anyone else?

It's not the length that matters....

2007-07-09T01:42:00.001-04:00

In the wake of the loss of my close friend, I have been lost in a haze of religion, philosophy, personal thoughts and feelings. It has, with good reason, caused me to rethink my life, my friendships, my family, and my impact on the world.

Here is what I have concluded…Life is short.

I know my conclusion is not very deep or profound. But, it is what it is.

Life is short. Do something.
Laugh.
Love.
Smile.
Hug.
Help.
Give.
Encourage.

Make a difference for the better.

(I feel like I should be playing "Heal the World" by Michael Jackson in the background.)

Our time together was too short...

2007-07-01T11:00:00.000-04:00

I sit here writing this blog with a void in my heart that will never be filled...

A very dear friend of mine passed away last week. I haven’t blogged recently, mostly because I’ve been trying to figure out a way to honor her life with words. No words seem adequate to capture her life, her energy, her compassion. She was so caring, loyal, supportive, and she had an amazing sense of humor. She positively impacted so many lives. My life will not be the same without her.

She will always have a special place in my heart.

Update

2007-05-25T14:13:00.000-04:00

I just pooped. I had completely forgotten that I ate corn yesterday.

Ode to Hooters Air

2007-05-23T19:20:00.000-04:00

Why oh why did you have to go?
How I wanted to fly with you so,
Flight attendants made to surely entice,
Each with 2 built-in floatation device,
Wings and fries, burger and more,
Don’t you call my pilot no whore,
Please come back soon, or I will die,
Oh Silicon Club one mile high.

Job Hunting we will go!

2007-05-23T19:03:00.000-04:00

Job hunting sucks. I don’t understand what companies are looking for these days. I would like to think I have a fairly good resume. Here are some highlights:

1. Bachelor’s degree
2. Master’s degree
3. 5 years of management experience
4. Membership to five professional organizations
5. Authored strategic plans and grants
6. Certified trainer for 2 national organizations
7. Managed $1 million budget
8. I’m hung like a (sea) horse
9. Back hair galore
10. If necessary- will work for sex not salary

I have been searching for a professional job for almost two years now. I have sent nearly 700 resumes to local and national organizations. And what has been my response you may ask?

(Drum roll please....)

I have had 2 return phone calls, 2 emails, 1 phone interview and zero job offers. Yes, you heard me correctly…NOTHING! Please keep in mind that I live in the middle of BFE Midwest, and I’m guessing that master’s degrees and such are hard to come by. I would think that some companies would at least give me a look…but no. Well, here is what I have to say to all of those companies who continue to reject me...

It’s your loss. I rock!

Memories

2007-05-20T04:10:00.000-04:00

I was thinking back to my high school years today. Then I vomited.

Word to your Grandmutha!

2007-05-15T03:05:00.000-04:00

During a recent trip to our local casino, I was rudely pushed out of an aisle by a 97 year-old women who was trying to get to her “lucky slot” (machine). Which of the following was my response to her brutal assault?

a. “You’re 97 years old. Your slot may never get lucky again.”
b. “You put the 'f' in gilf"
c. “Nice hooters. Could you kindly lift them off my shoes?”
d. I said nothing. I am spineless.
e. “I must break you.”
f. “Oh, you poor women. Please allow me to move. I am so terribly sorry.”
g. "Is banging!"
h. “You don’t know her, but Sherry is a whore!”

Please feel free to post comments and add your own possible responses.

Regarding our nation's leader

2007-05-15T02:08:00.000-04:00

I will say nothing of wars, WMD’s, foreign policy, wire-tapping, or anything of the sort. I have but one simple request. When elderly royalty from another country come to visit Washington D.C., can you please not accuse them of being 200 years old?

I am no expert on etiquette, but some might perceive that comment as being rude.

What I LOVE about ESPN

2007-05-15T01:40:00.000-04:00

It matters NOT whether is it NFL preseason, mid-season, post season or off season...It's ALL Terrell Owens ALL the time. 24/7/365.

I love me some T.O.
(Not really)

Has anyone else ever noticed...

2007-05-15T01:29:00.000-04:00

...in certain photographs, Lindsay Lohan and Michael Jackson look eerily similar.

Feel the love

2007-05-14T01:58:00.000-04:00

I must apologize to my friends and family. I've realized that I have failed to mention many of them in my writings. I am very blessed as I have an amazing family and many great friends who care for me. Certainly we are crazy in our own ways, but I love them all dearly.

Thanks to all my friends and family for who they are, what they mean, who they make me, who I am with them, what they say, what they don't say and how they make me feel. They make me feel sane, insane, wild, calm, witty, special, ambitious, depressed, challenged, dysfunctional, hopeful, hopeless, energetic, childlike, mature, normal, abnormal, prideful, arrogant, humble and loved. But most of all, they make me feel.

I will write more about them in upcoming posts.

Curiosity Killed the Puss

2007-05-14T01:43:00.000-04:00

Ok, I must confess. You may think I am complete pervert, but I am "fleshlight curious." Have you seen these things? They are shaped like a flashlight, except the end that normally contains the lightbulb has a fake vagina. It's made with "real feel skin." You actually have sex with a flashlight. Brilliant. And I don't even need to buy dinner or put up with all the stalking.

For more information, please visit www.fleshlight.com. Oh and their advertising motto is amazing...."No girlfriend? This is better!"

Hung Up

2007-05-14T01:36:00.000-04:00

If wishes were horses, I would be hung like you wish.

Questions of the day

2007-05-11T04:11:00.000-04:00

Who is God?
Who is God to you?

What is love?
What is love to you?

Who are you?
Who are you to you?

What a pile o' shit...

Doctor, Doctor

2007-05-11T04:01:00.000-04:00

When I was seven, I was convinced that I was going to be a doctor when I grew up. I wasn't cognitively advanced enough to try to predict what kind of doctor I would be. Actually, I guess I never thought about it. But, those plans failed when I realized 4 years later that in order to become a doctor, I would have to cut open dead bodies. No thanks. I had this recurring nightmare that I would go to anatomy lab, open the corpse bag and it would be my aunt who died the previous week.

Hi Aunt Petunia. Nice seeing you again.

Intro

2007-05-11T03:48:00.000-04:00

Here's the intro to a short story I'm currently working on....

I’m don’t think I’m clinically depressed. I just think I’m just a realist. Clinical depression is someone who actually has a decent life, but still can’t get himself out of bed in the morning. It’s the wealthy accountant, living in suburbia, with a beautiful wife and three blonde children who looks out at the sunrise and cries uncontrollably. That’s clinical depression.

I am completely broke and owe thousands of dollars to Sally Mae, my father, a couple of friends. I’ve had loved ones die far too young. I’ve been unemployed for a year and a half. I'm single and lonely. I’ve spent the last 38 hours in bed. My problem isn't depression. The problem lies in reality.

I don’t know what made me decide to start writing today. I guess in some way, it’s cathartic. Somehow the motion of pressing the keys on my iBook G4 helps me cope with the heartache of life.

Life comes to me in snapshots. Moments embedded in my mind. My mother and I playing basketball on my back porch. My brother and I coated in muck after romping through the mud puddles in the driveway. My sister’s face after giving birth to her first child. My father trick-or-treating with us and constantly repeating, “It’s a scary one boys and girls.” These will be forever mine. And sometimes I wonder if life is just a pursuit of snapshots.

But I am also in awe of the pain around me. Children starving, AIDS, cancer, suicide, drug addiction, death. Life seems morbid and random. Heroes die and murderers live. Where is the sense? Where is the logic? Why was I given a mind, if in all my humanity, I cannot comprehend anything?

I guess that’s where my story begins. Me. Depressed. Finally getting out of bed after a 38-hour nap…

I lay on my back looking up at the unfinished wooden ceiling above me. I take a deep breath. I try not to think about debt for once. Just a day without that thought would be amazing. I sit there and contemplate for a moment if it is time for me to get out of bed yet? I guess it is. The old milk jug that holds my piss is almost full.

The Return

2007-05-11T02:15:00.000-04:00

I have come back. Back from the brink of the non-blogging community. I have returned. I have been to the land on the non-communicative, and have lived to tell about it.

Well, honestly, I have just been lazy and haven't written anything lately (and by lazy I mean chronically depressed and by lately I mean like 6 months). But, I am making a new committment to post more often. New and improved posts....funny, witty, life-altering posts.

I have much to share. New friends, new jokes, new back hair. Life isn't great, but at least it's mildly interesting. Come on my journey of words are learn the most valuable of life lessons....Your life isn't as bad as you think.

NBA?

2006-11-10T01:53:00.000-05:00

Does anyone really care about the NBA anymore?

The athletes make way too much money, and still find a way to complain of being underpaid. They can't make free throws. 97% of the shots taken are three-pointers or dunks.

Shouldn't the league be going on strike soon? Please. Pretty please.

McPsych 101

2006-11-10T01:33:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I haven't posted to my blog in 3 months. I have been incredibly busy....however, sometimes stories come along that can't be missed.

In my (still relatively) young life, there have been times of great joy, periodically followed by times of complete despair. And, in my introspection, I can only arrive at one common link, one societal change, one life-changing event that triggers my whirlwind of positive emotions.....

The McRib.

For now, my friends, let us all rejoice that the sandwich of the century is back at participating McDonald's. My life has meaning again. (But for a limited time only)

Team Names

2006-08-07T23:47:00.000-04:00

As a yearly ritual, I am in the midst of attempting to name my fantasy football team for the upcoming season. Here are my current front-runners:

1. Husrt Donut?
2. Hot for 200
3. Shemp and the She-Males
4. GILF Diggers
5. Big Mouth Backdoor Billy Lance Bass

Any feedback from my readers would be appreciated!

Coming Soon

2006-08-01T23:10:00.000-04:00

New releases coming soon to a adult video store near you:
1. Butt Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Breast
2. Talladega Dykes: The Ballad of Dickie Knobby
3. VD for Vendetta
4. Garfield 2: A Tale of Two Kitties
5. The Lady-boy in the Water

and finally....Trousers Snakes on a Plane!

Bonds Away

2006-07-30T13:38:00.000-04:00

When will Barry Bonds go away? Seriously, we all know he's guilty. Please leave soon Barry. Take your place in history with Ben Johnson.

What's in a name?

2006-07-27T22:28:00.000-04:00

In response to my many readers continually posing the questions..."What does your name t.c. stand for?"....I must put to rest the rumors circulating.

Here is a list of names that t.c. does NOT stand for:

1. Tevin Campbell- One hit wonder certainly now touring fair grounds near you.
2. The Count- Although his talent is underrated on Sesame Street, he is not I, and I not him.
3. The Crabs- I've never had or known anyone with crabs. Ok, that might be a lie.
4. Tinkerbell Cabin- It sounds like the sight of a mass murder, therefore I think it would make an eerie surname. No thanks!
5. Torture Candle- Hot and waxy....

I promise to reveal the truth in due time my avid readers.

Soccer Memories

2006-07-12T23:10:00.000-04:00

I played youth soccer growing up. I continued my soccer career into high school and college. Although I did get two concussions while playing, I never had this happen.

Lord of the Snake Rings

2006-07-12T22:57:00.000-04:00

I am a big fan of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I am not the superfan who camps out at the theater four months before its premiere, but I do think that the movies were some of the best in movie history. I laughed, I cried, I lusted after Liv Tyler, it was better than Cats.

On the other side of the spectrum, there is the soon-to-be-released, "Snakes on a Plane" starring Samuel L. Jackson. I'm not sure who thought producing this film would be a good idea, but I have to question their movie marketing knowledge. Apparently, snakes + airplane = summer movie blockbuster. Brilliant.

Muffy

2006-07-04T15:58:00.000-04:00

If anyone reading this blog has never watched the tv series "Buffy The Vampire Slayer," do it right now. It truly is one of the greatest shows in television history. It has it all...drama, comedy, romance, graphic violence, and lesbians. Don't watch the original movie with Luke Perry. It was (how do I put this nicely) terrible. Besides, there were no lesbians in the movie.

Cry Every Mountain

2006-07-04T12:03:00.000-04:00

I was moved to tears the first time I saw a mountain. I was flying over the Canadian Rockies. Sure the mountains were neat. But, I cried because the man in the seat next to me had sulfur farts.

A "Single" Request

2006-07-04T01:53:00.000-04:00

As a single man in my late twenties, I feel inclined to outline a few rules for my married friends. (I should probably mention that nearly all of my friend's are married.) Therefore, in order to be respectful to me, here is all I ask of my married friends:

1. Don't talk to me about your sex life. I don't want to hear about how many times you had sex, where you mated, who was there, what toys were used, who watched, how long or how big. I don't care. If it continues, I will be forced to begin frequent discussions of my masturbation marathons at socially inappropriate times (in front of your family). Oh, I might do that anyway.

2. For Christmas, please don't expect gifts for you, your spouse, your twelve kids, and the family dog. I am not wealthy. I will have a discussion about the financial struggles of singleness in a later blog entry.

3. My life doesn't revolve around you or your schedule. One of the advantages of being single is the ability to come and go as I please. This doesn't mean that I will jump at the ten-minute window of opportunity that your wife gave you to hang out this week. I'm not that desperate to see you.

4. Go on dates with your spouses. My goodness, I rarely ever hear of or see my married friends going on dates. Get away and do something. Leave the kids, the dogs, the worries of everyday life and reconnect with one another. Just don't tell me about it if you choose to "reconnect" in that way.

He/She

2006-07-04T01:40:00.000-04:00

I'm a HUGE soccer fan. Needless to say the last few weeks I've been in my own personal heaven. I have World Cup Fever. I have Tivo'ed every game.

I admit that I was excited that France defeated Brazil. I certainly don't hate Brazil. I think their team is amazingly talented. But, I do think that Ronaldhino might be a tranny. So, I didn't really think it was fair of them to keep winning.

Driving me Crazy

2006-07-04T01:07:00.000-04:00

Recently, on my long drives to and from work, I have been pondering important philosophical ideas. My last drive produced a top ten list of the all time work karaoke songs. As my life continues to be open to you through this blog, I will share these musical gems with you now.

Top Ten Worst Karaoke Songs

10. "We are the World" by various artist. Could you imagine a drunk 40 something trying to imitate all those artists' voices?

9. Anything by Rob Zombie. His songs aren't what I would call "lyrical."

8. "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston. The problem with this song is twofold. First, the song sucks, and no one wants to hear a sappy love song in a pub full of drunken half-naked college students. Secondly, in order to do justice to any Whitney Houston song, one MUST carry with them a white napkin with which to wipe excess sweat from your brow during the performance. This is a MAJOR hindrance during karaoke performances.

7. "Take this Job and Shove It" by Johnny Paycheck. I have heard this song on several occasions at a bar I use to frequent. My personal favorite rendition is the bearded man who sang his version, "Take this job and shove it up your f##kIng a##." It was oddly amusing. However, I needed two Jaegermeister shots afterwards.

6. "It's the End of the World as We Know It" by REM. Why would anyone even try?

5. "The Thong Song" by Cisco. Yes, I've heard it. I never want to speak of it again.

4. "Who Let the Dogs Out" by The Baha Men. Do I even need to say anything?

3. "Hotel California" by The Eagles. Let's leave this one to William Hung.

2. "I Would Do Anything for Love" by Meatloaf. Although his performance in the Rocky Horror Picture Show was oscar-worthy, his songs don't appeal to the typical bar crowd.

and the number one all time worst karaoke song (in my opinion is)....

"I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls. I am not opposed to talking about masturbation. After all, who doesn't practice the love that dare not speak its name? But, do we really need to sing about it?

Needless to say, I should probably pay more attention to the road while driving....

Me

2006-06-28T02:38:00.000-04:00

I'll try to paint you a self portrait. I'm 6'2 and slightly overweight. (Truthfully, the word "slightly" should be removed from the last sentence) I use to be in fairly decent shape, however, recent years have not been so kind. I'm balding on top. All of my hair seems to be falling off my head and taking up residence on my back. My eyes are deep-set blue. My goatee is often trimmed crooked. Not on purpose. But, at some point I have to stop the morning cycle of alternating shaving down the left and right sides in a failed attempt to attain symmetry.

I'm 27 years old, but if age were measured by emotional maturity, I'm guessing I would still be a teenager. Probably an early teen. I'm often impulsive, have little self discipline, and am particularly fond of Doritos. I'd like to think of myself as witty. My cousin insists that I am only funny one day per month. I refer to it as my "funny period." And by period I mean...well, I'm hoping you catch the inference.

My toes are extremely hairy.

A Tribute...

2006-06-28T02:08:00.000-04:00

I don't claim to be a talented writer. However, I do attribute any abilities in this area to two individuals. First, my creative writer teacher in high school. He was a self-proclaimed communist. He was very tall, I'm guessing around 6'5. His glasses were outlined with thick, black frames and his hair was shoulder-lengthed and silver. (In retrospect, I'm guessing he attended Woodstock). He encouraged me to write about new things. Crazy, insane things. We wrote one essay on the three perspectives of looking at a pencil. Another involved being the driver in a car crash where our torsos were impaled on the steering column upon impact. As a junior in high school, I thought he was scary and odd. But, looking back, I learned a lot.

I'd also like to give some credit to my creative writing professor in college. I'm not sure if I actually learned anything in that class. However, I did get a chance to create a portfolio that included extremely controversial writings. I wrote openly about my sexual experiences, binge drinking episodes, personal philosophies, and thoughts about the mentally challenged. Did I mention that I attended a small conservative Christian college? Also, during my creative writing class time, I learned to take my underwear off without taking off my shorts. Talk about a resume builder...

So, without any reservations, I'd like to say a big thanks to Mr. Spare and Mr. Paperclips. (Their names have been altered to protect their anonymity.)

A Matter of Feeling

2006-06-28T01:54:00.000-04:00

How does it feel when everyone surrounds you?
How do you deal? Do crowds just make you feel lonely?
What do you say when people come and try to pin you down?

Acquaintances smile, but there's no understanding--
How after a while, you keep falling off the same mountain...
Try to explain it...nothing really gets them that high...

Steal away in the morning
Love's already history to you...
It's a habit you're forming
This body's desperate for something new...
Just a matter of feeling,
This moment's madness sure to pass...
And tears will dry as you're leaving
Who knows, you might find something to last...

Emotion's a game, saved up for a rainy Monday--
But you laugh just the same--'cos it's been pourin' on sunday...
Call up your numbers, never let the zeroes bring you down...
How does it feel? Is time too heavy to hold?
Whatever you decide, for the the moment is holy...
Whenever you slow down--
To see life is passing by...

I admit that I am a fan of Duran Duran. I spent many of my childhood years analyzing their lyrics that, upon further review in my adult years, don't really mean anything. Sure they sounded "neat." But, I never really understood the intent or the emotion that Simon LeBon was attempting to convey. However, this song, the exception.

I do keep falling off the same mountain. Time is too heavy to hold. My body is depreate for something new. I do feel lonely in crowds.

That's who I am. That's how I feel...NOT.

That's a bunch of dookie. Duran Duran was crazy.

Underwear Philosophy

2006-06-16T00:57:00.000-04:00

I haven't always been capable of looking outside myself. In fact, it has taken a purposeful effort. I, like many humans, am selfish in nature. At some point as a young adult, I was able to look at other perspectives. Perhaps I don't mean look, but actually think critically at other worldviews.

I spent a good portion of my life taking care of myself. I spent another good portions of my life attempting (and often times succeeding) to manipulate people and circumstances. I assure you that I have my reasons to justify my efforts. However, I will fight the urge to recite my childhood stories of latch-key trauma. Instead, I admit my complete failure at attempting to control my life and it's outcomes. I've learned through my life that the more I attempt to control, the less likely I am to attain my desired result.

Life is what it is. It's a beast. A wild ride around the sun that has few certainties. We are certain that...1. The sun will rise. 2. Change is certain. 3. At the end of each day, no matter how hard I try, my underwear will mysteriously produce amazingly odiferous skid marks, even though I sometimes go through the entire work days without going number two.

Therein lies the mystery. (No not in my stained undies). Walking, talking, breathing, loving, existing in a world that often times seems senseless.

CYA

2006-06-11T00:52:00.000-04:00

Before I go any further, I need it to be known that the title of this blog is not an original. The title actually comes from lyrics of a music group called Over the Rhine. They are amazing artists, and I would encourage anyone reading this to check out their music. And, if by some odd chance that legal counsel for Over the Rhine are reading this blog, I in no way intend to make any money from this blog. Your clients were just able to utilize words far better than I, to capture the essence of my vision..

And so it began...

2006-06-11T00:39:00.000-04:00

I am not sure what prompted my sudden journey into the world of blogging. I would like to think it was due to an innate desire to convey the wisdom I've learned during my personal journey. However, more likely, I am seeking peace. An opportunity for me to have a dialogue with myself. A chance to take a look outside myself, and make sense of a world that often times appears senseless...